Can you imagine a life where you felt that every action you did throughout the day was judged? Or that you were really supposed to act like a parent or know better (than others)? As a firstborn, you were always supposed to lead, even when you had no idea of what that job entailed? Welcome to the life of firstborns.

I’ll take a sloppy second, or even third place in the birth order. In fact, skip the second place, those poor second borns have to smile and always say the correct thing!

It is great being a third-born. Your parents have used up all their hope and dreams and you are left without any expectations except being cute. It is particularly wonderful if your parents are old and tired.

Caution, you may get stuck with hand-me-down clothes. I have a solution, though . . . just get fat! If you bug them for school clothes early in the season, you can drop the weight, return the clothes and have a new wardrobe!

If you are lucky, your parents don’t plan to remodel important rooms in the house until you get big enough to leave home. That means that you can take that family room, den or basement room and use it to house all your potential pets from outdoors. This also works for post-Easter chick rescues, lame dogs and even “pet” squirrels that you believe will behave indoors.

Something else that is great about being a third child is that if you have acute hearing, you can avoid the majority of dilemmas with your parents. Take note of every half-baked scheme of your older siblings. Avoid. Note the way they request night outs or use of the car. If it works, use it.

NOTE: Caution, older siblings may sometimes use the excuse of taking you to a class or a haircut to expand the trip to enhance their social connections. It is crucial that you are reimbursed for your discretion.