A Loving Home Is Crucial
We adults often forget that young children are sensitive beings. Whether parents argue openly and vehemently, or display animosity toward one another in covert ways, everyone else in the household is affected.
by Joan M. Thomas
How commonly we read or hear the words "a loving environment" describing a childcare facility. Additionally, media messages soliciting refuge for orphaned children and stray animals often include the phrase "needs a loving home." The connotation is that more than shelter is needed.
What's implied is a plea for a safe and friendly environment conducive to physical and emotional wellbeing. And while it is imperative that a child suffering from some trauma or loss be placed in such surroundings, all children need the same.
We adults often forget that young children are sensitive beings. They feel hostility, hidden or otherwise, even when it is not directed at them. Whether parents argue openly and vehemently, or display animosity toward one another in covert ways, everyone else in the household, even the family dog, is affected. Such an unpleasant atmosphere is the antithesis of what we think of as a loving home.
Resolving differences lovingly
When working on her book on divorce, We're Still Family, researcher Constance Ahrons found that where parental conflict pervades family life, it harms children. Whether or not separation or divorce results from parents' discord, children need to know that it is not their fault, and that they will always be loved. When parents simply disagree, as any two individuals will, a mature and amiable resolution makes life more pleasant for all concerned.
Plus, as Edward L. Schor, M.D., counsels in his book, Caring for Your School-Age Child: Ages 5-12, "Do not forget that children learn how to handle disagreements by watching their parents' example...Your children model themselves on you."
Parents should try to resolve their differences without creating a lingering mood of oppression, anger and fear. Becoming Parents: What It Means for Couples, a handout prepared by the American Academy of Family Physicians, stresses that especially when parenting children, spouses should learn how to fight fair. "It is important for children to know that their parents love each other and see them work out problems."
Video role models
But more than just handling disputes in reasonable fashion is necessary. A happy family life is one where love overrides problems, both in the home and in the outside world. One need only to catch some of the better children's TV programs, especially those on PBS, for good examples of art imitating life, demonstrating what makes a loving home.
Animated shows such as Arthur, Between the Lions, and The Berenstain Bears portray animal families with human characteristics whose homes, even if in a tree, are cheery and comfortable. The parents demonstrate typical adult foibles, and their offspring's mischievous behavior mirrors that of our own children. And, as with any happy family, their love and consideration for one another always prevails.
Additionally, such shows often acknowledge the reality of single parents and combined families. Arthur Aardvark, for whom Arthur is named, has a friend whose parents who are divorced. Buster Bunny lives contentedly with his mom, but spends quality time traveling with his dad, the airplane pilot. The feeling conveyed in that story is one of peace and acceptance. Buster is just as eager to spend time with his pop as he is to return to his mom and his home base.
Brady Bunch-type shows demonstrate how a warm and loving home can be created for children from previous marriages. The story lines typically downplay the importance of material things, and concentrate on emotional security and ethical and moral values.
In the end, all of society is affected when the child emerging from a hostile family life enters society as an adult. Jennifer Roback Morse, in Love and Economics: Why the Laissez-Faire Family Doesn't Work, contends, "Without loving families, no society can long govern itself." As we are all part of the human family, we each require a loving environment for sustenance. We need that as much as food and shelter.
We adults often disdain the discomfort experienced when people we know are engaged in a bitter dispute, and we are unwillingly drawn into the battle. Yet we at least have some experience with such differences, and some control over the situation. Our children have little of either.
Just think how they feel. How will they know about love if they never witness it? We might heed the words of Karishma Bejaj on indianchild.com, an Indian website dedicated to building good character in children: "We can bring into our children the emotion of love only when we create for ourselves a loving environment."
The author of three books, freelance writer and historian Joan M. Thomas also enjoys writing feature stories and essays on current topics. Born in Carroll, Iowa, she now lives in St. Louis, Missouri, with her husband, Bob, and canine pal, Sasha.
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Inspire Your Kids to Cook
by Christina DiMartino
Your kids—boys and girls alike—express a desire to cook from a very early age, likely without your even realizing it. They make mud pies in the sandbox, play with child-sized cooking sets, and organize kitchens in doll houses or play areas, and they probably inquire about what you’re cooking from the time they begin to communicate.
Kids Cooking Activities offers up reasons why you should encourage cooking activities with your kids. (Set up link at underlining to http://www.kids-cooking-activities.com)
* Cooking with your children helps them to learn about nutrition and healthy eating.
* Cooking in the kitchen will give children a boost of self confidence. They are accomplishing a task, learning something important, and contributing to the family.
* Taking time to cook with your kids will give them lasting memories. They will pass the traditions on when they are grown and have their own families.
* In the enthusiasm of creating something themselves, your children will be more likely to eat what they had a hand in making.
* Kids learn real lessons in science, language, math, and creativity in the kitchen. Cooking will help reinforce all these subjects.
* Cooking is a great way to learn life skills. This is especially helpful when children are older and more independent. They won't have to rely on fast food and junk food to sustain them.
* Working together in the kitchen teaches your child teamwork.
* Cooking teaches children planning and making choices skills.
* Kids practice creativity and imagination in the kitchen. Cooking activities are a great way for kids to express themselves and enjoy their creations.
It may take longer to get the meal or snack done, but the moments with your children will be priceless. Remember to have patience. Don't worry about flour on the floor or spilled milk.
A role model for cooking with kids
Cooking With Kids, a series of 90-second videos, is hosted by James Beard Award-winning chef John Sarich. Development of the program was inspired by the reality of childhood obesity, anorexia and other eating disorders, Type II Diabetes, and low bone density, which have all become national issues. Cooking With Kids encourages parents and children to spend time in the kitchen together preparing healthy meals in ways that improve communication and help children develop healthy nutritional habits. (Set up link at underlining to http://www.cookingwithkids.org/fact.html)
The program shows how easy it is for kids to prepare snacks and meals that taste good and that are good for them. It uses the five food groups as a platform for nutrition messages. You can watch the videos with your children through the website, then print out the recipe and go try it yourselves.
The recipes that Sarich prepares with kids on the segments teach them which categories on the United States Department of Agriculture’s Food Pyramid are included in the recipe. He explains how vegetable burritos, for example, include foods that have protein, fiber and dairy, and that the burritos are low in fat.
Good cooking habits
Spatulatta provides 350 step-by-step videos that teach kids good cooking habits, and offers advice for moms, dads and kids on numerous issues related to cooking with kids. It emphasizes topics like teaching kids to wash their hands properly before handling food. (Set up link at underlining to http://www.spatulatta.com)
When it comes to working in the kitchen, you know your children. You know what abilities they have and how fine their motor skills are. Some children are ready to handle a certain kitchen utensil or work at the stove earlier than others. It’s up to you to make that determination.
You set the rules in your kitchen, such as you will always light the burners and oven for your children.
Go over the workings of every electrical appliance with your child. Explain that the beaters, for example, should be inserted into a hand mixer before the mixer is plugged in.
Safety and courtesy are behaviors that need to be re-enforced and modeled.
Once you've explained how to handle an item safely, try asking your child to tell you how to do it the next time the task is required when making a recipe. We all learn best when we try to teach.
CREDIT:
Christina DiMartino has been a freelance and assignment writer since 1985. She is a researcher, interviewer, writer, editor, and manuscript collaborator with a repertoire of clients from around the world.
PHOTO / ILLUSTRATION RECOMMENDATIONS:
Go to http://www.cookingwithkids.org
TEASER:
Cooking with your kids does much more than produce tasty treats! It teaches teamwork, safety, courtesy, math, science, and more, and encourages creativity and imagination. And there are some terrific online videos that will help you get started.
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